My blood test this week says my HCG levels are down in the 200s range (vs. 1389 when I left the hospital). This is fantastic because I believe it rules out the cancer explanation. Yippee!

update...

Much more mobile today, though still tire easily. My hemoglobin levels are up to a good level again. YEAA!!! On the flip side, what they took out of me during surgery was not normal. There are two explanations; both of them nasty. The first explanation would have been cured by removing my tube- so I'd still be in good shape. The second explanation would have me visiting an OB oncologist- not good. So I'm on my doctors radar of people to watch closely... and I am so scared. I am on orders to go in every week for more bloodwork that would rule out explanantion #2. But it's probably gonna take about 6 weeks. I do appreciate all the love and support I've been receiving... please understand, though, that sometimes it still wears me out just having a conversation and so am not always up to answering my phone. Love ya guys... please keep me in your prayers.

*** my overall feeling about this is annoyance. Why can't it just be a NORMAL crappy day!? I feel like I'm in the fire swamp from The Princess Bride... if the lightening sand doesn't get me, the rodents of unusual size will. It is totally annoying.

the nitty-gritty....

alrighty, I'm finally cognizant enough to try and relay what I have been up to for this past week, though by the end of it I may be wishing to have just let it all go unrecorded- it's been quite a week.

The first surgery was on March 15th. I felt like I had made a quick recovery, but never reached fully recovered. I knew I wasn't back to %100. About a week and a half before the big symptoms arrived, I just felt heavy and yucky in my lower tummy. One day I actually remarked to Wade that it felt like I had rocks or barbed wire in my uterus, but I chalked it up to pre-menstrual yuckiness because I had been told that the first period after an ectopic pregnancy was a doozy. It didn't hurt, per say, just yucky. And I was tired all the time. Just could completely pass out any given moment, it seemed.

Well, on Sunday I started what I thought was a period. I was so relieved! Finally, I'm getting back to normal!!! and I started having a little diarrhea; hmmm, not completely out of the norm for me so I didn't pay it too much attention. Monday morning I woke up achy and crampy and just felt like I was wearing a suit of armor, I just felt heavy. Right off I drew myself a bath, thinking the warm water would sooth the cramps and sent Wade to the drugstore to get some Pamprin. Nothing was relieving them and they got worse. Front and back from belly button down, everything was cramping now. I could actually feel individual interior parts cramping separately from each other. The runny tummy got worse. I found myself in the bathroom every ten minutes and my cramps were so bad I couldn't even use a tampon. I took another bath and when I got out I didn't even have the strength to get dressed- I just stayed wrapped in my towel laying on the bathroom floor because I knew I shouldn't stray too far from that porcelain goddess. Then the vomiting came. Oh my, this food poisoning was going to kill me! I'm never going to eat another hot dog as long as I live! Then the blacking out started. A couple of hours passed in which I was stuck in a cycle of diarrhea, pass out, fall off the toilet, come too, vomit, repeat. I was finally at a point where I was just praying for the diarrhea to stop because I couldn't lift myself to the toilet anymore when I called my friend, Marsha, who is a RN and an energy worker to come check on me. I also called Wade to have him come home because I wasn't going to be able to make it to the door to let Marsha in (he was out teaching Gwen to ride on two wheels, a post on that will be coming). I am still so grateful that I had my phone in the bathroom... Marsha told me my blood pressure was really low and suggested going to the hospital. I resisted. I really thought all this was was just dehydration and food poisoning. I didn't want a $600 IV. I could make it... The pain finally wore me down, though. I asked Wade to take me. He lifts me up to help me put my robe on, I passed out. He's helping me out of the house, and I collapse in the living room. I was useless getting myself to the car. Wade hears the neighbor outside and runs to get his help, and they do that thing where they make a chair by holding elbows and get me to the car. We went to urgent care first, they sent us to the ER. Wade lifts me out of the car and sets me in a wheelchair and I totally blacked out. The next time I regained consciousness I was on a table in a back room with an IV in and tons of stickers being stuck to my chest and they were doing an ultra sound, there had to be 12 people working on me. The first thing I swear they tell is that they are going to put a catheter in now. Of course, I've been unconscious for how long and they happen to save THAT for when I'm conscious... the irony. I say ok... it was at this moment that it hit Wade how bad of shape I was in. He was just about to tell the nurse not to, that I was going to fight her on it, etc when I said ok and didn't flinch. He knew then and there that I was NOT well. I hear them say the pregnancy test had come back positive, the ultra sound was showing a lot of blood and a ruptured tube, I was going to have have to have surgery again. Then I'm out again and don't think I really came to until the next day- I remember bits and pieces but nothing coherent.

My blood pressure when I arrived at the hospital was something like 64 over 40. My hemoglobin was down to 6. They couldn't find a pulse at my neck and my heart had started to skip. I almost died. I ended up needing 6 units of blood to stabilize my blood pressure. It is all still surreal. I'm still in a lot of pain, but SOO much better than what it was. I go back in tomorrow to get some more blood tests. I've had to had a babysitter 24/7 since I've been home just in case I start to bleed again and pass out. Hopefully, my tests tomorrow are much improved and I'll be confirmed to be out of the danger zone. The saga's not quite over, yet, but I feel I've finally turned a corner. ...write more later...

I've been hospitalized again. Internal bleeding. Came in monday, not sure how much longer i'l be in here. But I'm typing so that's a good sign. Update more later...

The Weinermobile...

Seeing the weinermobile has been somewhat of a life list item for me. I just think it's so cool! Today, while filling up with gas at Fred Meyers, it drove right past me! I squealed and yelled for everyone to buckle up cuz we were going to follow it. It basically just made a U-turn, drove around the parking lot and parked in front of Freddie's. Of course, this happens on the day I don't have my camera with me!!! I sang the Oscar Mayer jingle for the driver and got a weinermobile whistle!!! Gwen tried taking mine, but I refused and made her sing to get her own. It was so much fun. Simple joys. Happy day. :-)

Maria "Love is in the Air"...

my very talented friend, Maria, singing one of her original songs... so amazing.

Some Good Clean Fun...

Wade and I have rediscovered the joy of a good board game. Wade would say, bottom line, it makes good business sense. Going to a movie is $20 for the two of us ($30 if we want popcorn). Best case scenario, we are entertained for two hours and have to rush home to get Gwen and let the babysitter go home. Boardgames are averaging from $25 to $45. Unlimited play once you own them. Don't have to find a babysitter. And it encourages socializing and talking. It really is a great way to spend the Date Night budget.

When I was little, my favorite part of going to my grandparents house was their wall of games. I'm not kidding- a WALL, floor to ceiling of boardgames. I loved it. and I want one of my own. So, combining Wade's good business sense and my fond memories, I have been trying to make a tradition of getting one new game a month. We head down to Uncles Games and just pick one out. It's always such a hard decision because there are a million to choose from! From here on out, I will give a review of our newest acquisitions. Drum roll please.... Here are the latest and greatest!

Redneck Life


This game is funny. Not appropriate for young kids, though (smoking, alcohol, sleeping with lawyers for a discount divorce rate, etc are all represented throughout). A good litmus test to see if you will enjoy the game would be if you are a fan of My Name is Earl. Each player starts out by rolling for their redneck names. You then figure out what grade of school your character completed and that will determine what job you have (i.e. gas station attendant, taxidermist, monster truck rally announcer). Then you basically just follow the board as it leads you through life. You will marry, divorce, re-marry and raise an passel of young'uns. You try to stay out of debt as much as you can, but end up relying on loans to survive. The player at the end of the game that has the most teeth left wins. It is a very funny game. There is no strategy to it all- it's just the luck of the dice, really. But if you want a game that you can just turn your brain off for an hour and have some good laughs, you'll enjoy this.
Recommended with some Reservations- ****


Pandemic


This is a really unique and very fun game. It is cooperative, meaning you are all working together to beat the board. So, for those of you who don't like the competitive nature of most games and hate witnessing grown adults burst into tears and run from the room as a result of a little trash talking getting out of hand, this game is for you (and it's even fun for those of us who do enjoy a bit of competition, don't worry). You play as a team of CDC agents that is trying to keep a series of epidemics across the globe from spreading and becoming a pandemic. Each member of the team has a different special ability (i.e. Scientist, Medic, Dispatcher, etc...) so you HAVE to really work together to win. It offers a lot of opportunity for strategizing and every time you play it is different. It takes a bit to figure out how to play it, but it has a way to customize the difficulty levels so you can play on easy until you've got the game play down.
Highly Recommended- *****

Our friends, Jacob and Lorien, (who are a ton of fun to hang out with and that I consider to be like hanging out with Bono and a female equivalent and I would be soo misguided as to ever think I don't have much of a social life if I had nothing else but was able to hangout with them on any type of a regular basis!... and did I mention they are the coolest... and bring Dr. Pepper over... and I have a ROCKING social life hanging out with them!!! Because I do. Just wanted to clear that one up. ;-D )have been our partners in crime with the new games. Well, they brought one over this week that just knocked my socks off!

MWAHAHAHA!!!


This game is just plain awesome. You play a mad-scientist that is vying for world domination. You are each working on a dooms day device in your secret lair and want to be the first player to whip the worlds populations into submission. It has a deep level of play- it is really layered (the instruction manual was, no kidding, 40 pages long). You can play it as competitively as you want to. A lot of opportunity to strategize. Very funny- mad scientist sci-fi jokes abound. Gives you a chance to be as goofy and creative as you'd like, as you are encouraged to make maniacal speeches to the cities and countries you have your doomsday devices targeted on. I love this game. Once again, takes a little dedication to figure it out, but after you get it, it all makes sense. Bottom line: fun fun fun.
Highly Recommended- *****

"Don't Tell Mommy.....

but I think I grew last night."

We often tell Gwen that we love her just the size she is, and that she cannot grow any more. In typical juvinial defiance Gwen is determined to grow- as she says, 'It's just a fact of life, Dad'

We threatened to make her eat candy all day, stay up late and have McDonalds all the time. To which Gwen screamed 'NO! I will eat oatmeal, sneak in, take a nap and drink lots of water.'

She sure knows how to fight dirty.
I wonder if this would work if I told her I want her keep her room a mess?

I love being a dad. I hope the manipulation is always this simple.

Easter Joy...

Easter was magical this year. Gwen was sooo excited. She woke up around 6:30am and right off the bat found an Easter egg on her bookshelf. She literally squealed with delight (she didn't know that the Easter Bunny was going to be hiding eggs). She was just zooming around the house looking for eggs, and was so excited when she found out that there were some special Littlest Pet Shop eggs hidden in the mix. (They are her newest obsession) She finally found her basket behind the living room curtains. She loved everything in it- she was very spoiled this year. The big ticket items inside were a new outfit for her dolls and a large Littlest Pet Shop puppy that came with stickers and glitter to decorate it with. She got a small chocolate Benjamen Bunny and some other small odds and ends. Gwens favorite part of Easter, though, was me finding a bunch of turds under my bed... yes, it seems Jack had gotten into the spirit of hiding things as well. She believes it was the Easter Bunny, though, that had pooped (because Jack normally does not behave like that!), and she has been telling everyone of that extra special Easter surprise- it just cracks her up to no end.

Gwen had heard that I wasn't going to be having a basket this year (because I didn't buy myself anything, and Wade...um, let the ball drop or something), and so she spent the entire day before making me things to fill up my basket. She wouldn't let me see any of it while she was working on it, so Easter morning when I found my basket that she had hidden, well, I tell ya, I cried. It was the sweetest thing ever. It was filled with spring time pictures she drew and colored for me, an egg she'd decorated and wrapped, and a family picture that she'd found and wrapped up. It was just so thoughtful. I love my little girl, she is the sweetest.

Wade-O got a book on making his own Root beers and Sodas and a huge chocolate rabbit called "Dude, Da' Bunny!". I saw it in the grocery store FOREVER ago and had to get it for my hip happenin husband. The box cracked me up-- here are a couple of shots from it...


...follow the chain to da' Dudes bling, a classic Easter game...


...and is it just me, or is da' Dude making a booty call in this last pic???

We then went over to Nonnas for a HUGE egg hunt and have enough candy to make it to Halloween, I believe. It was a wonderful day, full of family and love. I am so grateful for my Savior and for the opportunity He has given us to keep these familial ties into the eternities. Happy Easter everyone.

My Next Read...

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies -- "It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains." So begins Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, an expanded edition of the beloved Jane Austen novel featuring all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie mayhem. As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton—and the dead are returning to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but she's soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy. What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilized sparring between the two young lovers—and even more violent sparring on the blood-soaked battlefield as Elizabeth wages war against hordes of flesh-eating undead. Can she vanquish the spawn of Satan? And overcome the social prejudices of the class-conscious landed gentry? Complete with romance, heartbreak, swordfights, cannibalism, and thousands of rotting corpses, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies transforms a masterpiece of world literature into something you'd actually want to read.


Jane Austen is the author of Sense and Sensibility, Persuasion, Mansfield Park, and other masterpieces of English literature.

Seth Grahame-Smith once took a class in English literature. He lives in Los Angeles

***and YES, this is a real book.

Verbal Chinese Water Torture...

Gwen has recently gotten into the habit of finishing her sentences with "Do you hear me, Mommy?" Every sentence. Every thought spoken aloud. Every single one of them. And if you do not respond that yes, you do hear her, the question will be repeated indefinitely. It is exhausting!!! I thought perhaps she wasn't feeling validated, so I would stop and look her in the eye so she knew she had my attention, yet the dreaded question still finished every sentence. I am not sure what to try next... Gwen talks A LOT. So much so that, at times, I have wondered when she finds the time to breathe. I feel myself slipping into a fog of fantasy of not being able to hear her... of being able to lazily listen to her thoughts on subjects ranging from the lovability of rotten eggs to how she figured out how to tease the dog in new and fantastic ways instead of facing a barage of demands to vocalize that I am, in fact, not deaf. It is really wearing me down. Help!!!

Fake Bakin' with a side of Bacon...

My ever so thoughtful husband bought me a tanning salon pass for my Easter basket. He likes to think I'm the only one not able to keep a surprise gift a surprise (he got his chocolate Easter bunny almost a month ago), but he caved and offered it to me early. So, my first time fake baking was this past Wednesday. It ended up being an experience much like being female and going to a mechanic alone. Right off the bat, they sold me a bottle of $40 sun lotion!!! I actually gasped and exclaimed "Are you KIDDING me!" when they rang me up, but they said I needed this special silicone based lotion for the tanning bed. I have since heard this is not necessary. And they also sold me a pair of those weird little glasses- which turns out to be the only thing necessary. And on top of that, I ended up not getting much of a result AT ALL because I didn't know that the top part of the tanning bed closed... yeah, I'm an idiot. But in my defense, I've only ever seen ads for them and in all of them the "lids" are open (how else would you be able to see the half naked hot chicks?). I figured it out, after my time was up, when I grabbed on to pull myself up. So, today, I was ready to get some rays.

I lubbed up in my $40 dollar silicone tanning goodness(the salesman made sure to point out how good it smelled, and I must admit, I do smell like a strawberry that's been left out in the sun). I figured out how to turn the fan on so I didn't have to muddle around once the lights were on, I turned some tunes on, strapped on those hamster eye counterfeit glasses and closed the lid; I was ready to tan!

then the mind started to wander... Is it just me, or was this whole device designed after one of those fancy panini presses. Am I the panini? Am I going to have grill marks from these lights. whew, it's getting hard to breath in here... this lid is only inches from my face, who in their right mind thinks this is relaxing??? To boot, this music, I can't hear anything... I can't hear the machine or the fans... I need to be able to hear! What if something goes wrong- I can't see with these stupid glasses on, I can't move inside of this panini press... shouldn't I be able to hear something in case I start to sizzle like a slab of bacon... oh bacon, why did I think of bacon, I can almost smell it... I think I'm going to be sick- no, I think I'm going to pass out. My head is spinning, is this normal--- get me out of this CONTRAPTION!

But then when picking Gwen up from school, one of the other moms mentioned how tanned I looked- I've already set up my next apt. for Monday.

Dr. Love for Dr. Pepper...

funny... I love a good commercial.

Health care in America...

I got another bill yesterday to add to my running tally for my afternoon spent in the emergency room. My total is up to $12,000. (*gasp*) And we still have the bills from my stay in the hospital in Bend, OR (from when I literally almost died from a kidney infection while moving up here); and that bill was twice as much at least. I have strapped my family with a huge debt... I do wonder at what price point am I no longer worth keeping alive. I must be nearing it. The way our health care system works is infuriating at times. I know that I, personally, am at the point where I feel next time just let me die. I try to do things right. I try to live a healthy life style. I try to live within my means... I just think it's ridiculous how expensive going to the hospital is. They actually want to still be doing blood work on me and I've quite going because I can't take adding to my bill anymore... argh. Yet AIG and all those other poorly run companies are getting billions of dollars in help money because the American economy can't dream of functioning without them. I think what the American economy needs more of is affordable health care... For now, I'm putting it in the Lords hands... I can't let the stress and guilt consume me. ...ack...

Poor Jack...

Sunday was our first officially spring like day. It was warm enough for me to be able to bust out my chacos! Glorious spring- how long I've been awaiting you!!! In celebration, the family decided to take a nice long walk with a stop over at a park for Gwen to be able to run around for a bit. While there, a group of middle school boys took an interest in Jack-dog and were playing fetch with him and chasing him around, etc. Jack was loving it. At the park alone, he must of been running at full tilt for at least an hour. The next day I realized just how out of shape a dog can get after a long "cozy" Idaho winter; he could barely walk! He stayed in his kennel except for trips to the yard for pottie breaks in which he walked slowly all hunched over... it was quite pathetic. It's taken him a full two days to recover. I need to teach him how to use my treadmill or after a couple more winters in Idaho he's gonna look like this:


Another reason why we need to move somewhere warmer!!! Texas keeps sounding better and better all the time!

Oooh Doggy!!! I'll need a bigger Easter basket...

I just came across this site and I cannot wait to put my order in!!! Can my taste buds stand the suspense!!! I'm an addict, I admit it. I do fear that ordering some of this high end "original recipe made with Imperial Cane Sugar" (not high fructose corn syrup) will only progress my addiction,that the simple cans from the local grocery stores may no longer satisfy my cravings; but it's a risk I'm willing to take. After all, it IS just what the Doctor ordered!!!



http://dublindrpepper.com

***an added bonus is the original recipe is caffeine free!

... so close and yet so far...

I'm sure all of my lady friends will remember the episode of Friends in which the characters discuss which famous person would be their "freebie" (meaning that the persons significant other could not blame them if they had a chance to hook up with said famous person that was named). I told Wade that I couldn't blame him if he hooked up with Angelina Jolie- that she was his freebie. Well, I get a phone call last Thursday from Wade asking me if I was sure that Angelina was fair game, because he just had O.J. with her dad, John Voight!!! No kidding. Wade was going up to the Crown Room in the L.A. airport and John Voight was at the check in desk asking if his first class ticket gave him access. The lady at the counter was telling him that it did not when my smooth operator of a husband came up next to him and laid down his membership card and told her that John Voight was his guest for the day!!!! (I myself would have stood behind him oggling and tongue tied that there was a movie star right in front of me...) Mr. Voight was very down to earth and thanked him and said,"Ah, you don't have to do that." They went in and had O.J. together and chatted for a bit before Wade had to catch his plane (where he was one seat away from Jodie Foster--- can you believe that!). Well, I told Wade the freebie status still held- though I think it moved things more in my favor seeing that Angelina absolutely hates her father. But it's still dang cool.

Google vs. Nicole Kidman...

I just google image searched "bat face" and was amazed by how many pictures of Nicole Kidman popped up... and I have to admit, Google might be on to something... see for yourself: